Egmont Mika

Feeling Like a Failure?

Having failed isn’t the same as feeling like a failure.

Feeling like a failure can be much worse than the actual failure.

A failure in itself is just an event, not a feeling. It’s something specific that happened to you at a specific time in a specific place. Like you didn’t pass the test, couldn’t keep your promise, missed your flight, lost your credit card, or made a foolish comment.

A failure can be dealt with successfully in basically three ways…

  1. You can repair the damage. There is no use crying over spilt milk. You know what to do, so just do it. Often a simple excuse is good enough.

  2. You can’t repair the damage, but you definitely can learn from it. Notorious late comers can actually stop blaming the circumstances and instead admit their failure, go to the bottom of their issue and take practical steps to change their habit.

  3. You can ignore it. If you just missed an opportunity, there isn’t much that can be done. No use of grieving. It may be emotionally challenging and you may have to pay a price, but so what? You must leave it behind you and carry on.

It’s not always easy to handle a failure, but most failures can be dealt with in a rational way.

It’s much harder to cope with feelings. Feelings can be irrational.

Feeling like a failure has very little to do with actually failing. You can fail a thousand times without necessarily feeling like a failure. On the other hand, you can even feel like a failure in the face of obvious success.

Feeling like a failure isn’t based on what has occurred, but on our thinking. On the story we tell ourselves or what others tell us about ourselves. Such a story works like a prophecy. Once you believe it, you will try to prove it and find evidence for it. For sure, you will always find what you are looking for.

So if you feel discriminated, neglected, looked down at, hated or felt sorry for, rest assured they have their origin in patterns of thoughts… in your story.

However, if you want to protect yourself and stop feeling like a failure, there are a few essential steps you can take:

  1. Stop meditating on your false story. Throw it out of your mind and refuse to let it settle there again, whenever those thoughts show up. Remember that you are the master of your mind.

  2. Stop engaging with the false assumption that in order to stop feeling like a failure you’ll have to succeed. You don’t. You can get rid of that feeling without a single success.

  3. Instead, start meditating on another story, based on the story that Jesus gave us: ”You are a child of God, beautifully made, loved, forgiven and accepted, created for a divine purpose, destined to be a blessing…" Let your Father in heaven determine who you are and what you are.

If you choose the latter and start building your faith on His story, for sure, your feelings will follow and you will be healed and restored.

The decision is yours.